Guest Writer Wednesday: Unicornuate uterus...a new, special chapter in my life
You guys…this is the coolest thing ever! Why? Because it was written by guest writer, Maria, a woman with a unicornuate uterus who LIVES IN CYPRUS! That’s right - Cyrpus. That tiny island miles and miles away from Colorado near Turkey and Syria. Maria and I met online, and I’m so glad we did. Today, she bravely shares her story (in her second language) about being a unicorn…just like me! Let’s welcome Maria to the Unicorn Mission!
Fertility is not guaranteed for everyone, just like many other things in our lives.
Fertility was definitely not guaranteed for me. I was diagnosed with a unicornuate uterus on my left side. At first I was shocked, but now I feel a little special. I am a unicorn, and I am proud of it!
When I was diagnosed with this uterine abnormality, it took me a long time to process it. Personally, when something happens to me, I need time and space to process. I had no an idea what a unicornuate uterus was exactly. The day I received my diagnosis, I was bombarded with information about things I had never heard of in my life. It wasn’t easy to hear that your future pregnancy was considered high risk even before you got pregnant or how difficult it would be to carry a baby inside your small uterus.
It is difficult to diagnose a unicornuate uterus with an ultrasound. I discovered my uterine anomaly after a hysterosaplingography. This exam showed that I have half a uterus, which I thought was actually pretty beautiful. It's part of me. An unfinished but part of me. (Of course I say this now after months of processing.) I can finally say that I have learned to love and accept my unique uterus.
At first, I cried for months and felt like my world was ruined. I was confused and I didn’t talk for days. I had imagined being pregnant and becoming a mother for years before receiving my diagnosis. We tried to get pregnant for months, and that was really trying. After a while, we moved onto infertility tests. Most felt unnecessary. I still don’t know whether all of those drugs and tests were truly needed. But for something that you want so much, you just got along without a second thought. You can’t be cowardly. You go into battle regardless of the effects and consequences.
I know my doctor's office well. I can tell you exactly every item in the exam room and where it’s placed. I have noticed every detail with heightened attention. I mean, I have to look somewhere during all of the times I’m lying down with my feet up in the air and my legs wide open! During one exam, my doctor told me, “You’re going to have to fight to become a mother, but I believe you can do it because. I believe this becaues I can see that you want it with all the power of your soul.” At that moment I thought to myself, ‘’Wake up! It’s so unfair to yourself that someone else believes in you more than you believe in yourself.” I realized that no one can take away what you have in your heart. I had to accept my diagnosis and get on with the process.
Yes, it’s extremely sad to try so hard to get pregnant and not receive the outcomes you long for. Your soul shouts “yes” and your body replies “not yet.” There are times when I reach my limits, but I don’t dare look at myself in the mirror with a look of defeat in my eyes. Instead, I gather up my courage, start from the beginning, and move forward.
“I’ve taken countless pills…
…but I will never give up.”
I've done 2 unsuccessful IUIs. I've taken countless pills and received countless injections. I have pissed off so many pregnancy tests. I've felt disappointed and have cried many times. But I will never give up. Now, everything I do, I do with a smile. And I’m sure my time will come. For women with infertility issues, the road that we’re forced to walk is a long one. For some women this road is longer than for others. Entering this path, you must be armed with patience and perseverance. You should never lose your courage, hope, and compass, despite the disappointments and failure you might face. I feel ready to start walking the long infertility road again because I am ready to accept the failures along the way. Where will my path lead me? I’m not sure, but I do know this: That someday I will overcome the obstacles, and the thorns that fall will become blossoming flowers.
Someday it will be my time.
One of my most favorites writers says, “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.'’
Don’t be afraid and keep trying until you’ve won your battle.
Bio: Hello, my name is Maria, and I’m a unicorn girl. I was born one autumn afternoon 28 years ago. I grew up on a small island called Cyprus, near Turkey and Syria. I still live there. I am a very sensitive and emotional person. Every day, I make sure to learn something new. I spend my life with people who make me smile. I stay away from people who spread negativity. I want to be a mom. My husband and I are a perfect team together. One of my favorite quotes is “In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.” It’s a good one to remember!
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